This was first Eid of Aaliya without father. Her father was died some 6 months ago apparently due to COVID-19. Being Muslim she believes in the fact that every soul shall have a taste of death but she was not expecting that her father will leave her this early. She still can’t get used to the fact that he is no more. It is hard to believe. Every single message beep and call on the phone gave her illusion as if it is from her beloved Abbu. Many times she often gets lost in time and space. She thought of picking her mobile phone and calling father’s number as usual course of business and then stopped doing in midst of nostalgia and realism.
The time settles each wound but the pain and suffering of losing one’s father is not curable. Will it be anything in this world to pacify this restlessness? Remembrance of father haunts her every day. While Eid was a time of joy and happiness, it was also one of immeasurable sadness for Aaliya who was recalling happy occasions with father who is no longer available. She tried her best to keep her grief & sorrow unnoticed but failed to hide on this day of Eid. Jamal and children might have read facial expressions of Aaliya but yet they were not aware of this whole new world of anguish and unhappiness. This can only be understood by whom who lost his/her father. It can only be experienced and can’t be explained.
Aaliya recalled the memories of her father…Ramadan days, Sehr-o-iftar, spending time in prayers and zikr, going to bazaar with him for eid shopping, supporting Ammi in Eid preparation, cleaning of house, testing Ammi’s cooked eid servings and passing joint declarations on quality and taste, getting eidi, meet up with family & friends, watching Eid shows and movies together…indulging in countless recollection of past events is a frequent happening.
Lost as she may seem to be in her routine work, can’t forget what she owes to her father. She was possessive about her memories of the father who gave her all that she possesses in life. She started thinking of how to pay off his father? And then she started dreaming of making his dream come true. For that she must keep going and this Eid along with her all rich memories reinforce to bring that all happiness for her family, which her father laboured all his life.
She thought of everyone spending Eid without loved one and struggling to cope today. Somewhere she got to know that she is not alone. She explored the idea of sharing happiness and cheerfulness for others…love and warmth to everyone who came along her way…She started believing that her sharing of bliss have a value for her departed father and somewhere around her he is watching her to distribute life to others…it’s like watering plants in your garden and realizing them blooming and flourishing leaf by leaf…rejuvenated idea of life.
Dear father! Your loss! Oh! A big difference to me!
(My father-in-law was died last year on 13-October-2020 and this was my wife’s first Eid without her father)
